What to Appreciate Before You’re Rich & Famous

No matter how often we’re reminded that money doesn’t make us happier, we often have trouble internalizing this phenomenon and instead think, “Certainly I’d be happier if I was rich!” Society’s narrative that “success” is defined by material wealth convinces people to pursue high-paying careers (that they don’t necessarily enjoy) and buy lottery tickets, with the dream of achieving financial independence. It’s certainly fun to daydream about a future in which we’re wealthy and influential — there are so many possibilities of people to meet, things to buy, places to go! Unfortunately, humans happen to be fairly over-optimistic daydreamers. Harvard Psychology Professor Dan Gilbert details this conundrum in his book, Stumbling on Happiness. When thinking about things we desire, we often overestimate the positive effects it will have on us and rarely take into account the potentially negative externalities.

Of course, those who have achieved wealth and fame have warned us against pinning our future happiness on material fortune. Jim Carrey famously commented “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that’s not the answer.”

If, however, you still desire the fantasy future in which you achieve financial independence — the road to get there may be long and arduous. Perhaps every once and awhile, you should pick your head up and appreciate the things that you will lose along the way. It may sound counter-intuitive, but there are significant benefits that you enjoy today over anyone who is rich and famous. Believe it or not — many of them probably want what you have! So, instead of taking these things for granted while you have them, be grateful for them while you can.

• Authentic relationships (without question): To put it bluntly — if you’re poor, your friends are your friends, for real. There’s no potential for ulterior motives. People spend time with you because they like you — and you know that, because there’s no other explanation. Once you are known and successful, there’s a myriad of reasons someone may want to be in your presence. Knowing this (perhaps due to first-hand experience) can create a type of paranoia, where you’re afraid to get close to new people and are generally untrusting of others. As social creatures, this is a stressful way to live life. Be grateful for the friends you have now.
• Low expectations: When your financial fortune rises, your standard of living likely does as well. As you dine at more expensive restaurants, travel in first-class, and surround yourself with the highest quality material goods — you’ll likely get used to a certain level of service and quality. Whenever these expectations aren’t met, frustration or annoyance may arise. The first time you fly first-class, you’re excited and impressed! Once you exclusively fly first-class, you’re annoyed when you have to fly business or economy. The hedonic treadmill continues, as you nearly immediately get used to having things that you once could only dream of. If happiness is “Reality minus Expectations,” it’s actually more difficult to achieve sustained happiness with a glamorous lifestyle filled with high expectations.
• Anonymity and freedom from public scrutiny: This may be the most commonly discussed downside of wealth and fame. Plenty of celebrities have shared the downsides of being recognizable (to which the public’s reply is usually “boo-hoo!”). George Clooney stated in an Esquire Magazine interview: “The big house on a hill is isolating. There’s no other way to say it. There are restrictions to this kind of fame. I haven’t walked in Central Park for 15 years. I’d like to, you know?” This means you (who aren’t yet famous) have the ability to do things that celebrities cannot do and wish to! Appreciate taking a leisurely stroll on a sunny day. You also don’t have to worry about everything you say and do being exposed and framed negatively to be used against you. Elon Musk — a person driven to save the planet and human species while simultaneously building multiple billion dollar for-profit companies (probably more than you’ll ever achieve) — has a passionate and sizable group of people who criticize his every word and actively root for him to fail. For now, enjoy the ability to make mistakes without the whole world finding out, commenting, and judging you for them. At least you don’t have thousands (or millions) of people actively rooting against you!
• “Free time”: The path to wealth and fame is often an arduous one, requiring a busy schedule and hard work. Many people put in this effort believing that once they achieve financial independence, they can retire to a beach somewhere and enjoy their most valuable resource — time. Well, as it turns out, your newfound wealth and fame has made your time more valuable than ever, especially to other people. Prepare to be inundated with pitches, introductions, meetings, and opportunities. With all of these newfound opportunities, at any moment you could be doing something new and exciting! While this is clearly a net benefit, one downside is that you may no longer be able to enjoy your free time, as there is always an opportunity that you could be pursuing. No doubt, this may at times lead to a paradox of choice, causing stress and indecisiveness. Depending on how you achieved your wealth and fame, you likely have many more significant responsibilities than you do now — whether that’s running a company, creating content for your fans on social media, or managing a team of people — you likely have less truly “free” time to sit with friends at the bar, go to a movie, or play video games. Enjoy it while it lasts.

During your journey to fame and fortune it’s important to be cognizant of the hedonic treadmill — humans’ tendency to quickly revert to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative life events. Essentially, no matter what dreams we achieve, we always want more. While we set goals for ourselves, upon achieving those goals, we often set even loftier goals, promising ourselves we’ll be happy upon attaining these new milestones. A shining example of this is Jim Clark, the founder of three billion-dollar companies including Silicon Graphics, Netscape, and Healtheon. As quoted in Michael Lewis’ book about Silicon Valley, “The New New Thing,” before founding his first company, Jim thought he’d be happy with a $10 million fortune; after Silicon Graphics, he thought $100 million should do the trick; after Netscape, the bar was raised to $1 billion. After Healtheon, Jim finally realized that an arbitrary dollar amount wouldn’t bring him happiness, instead deciding “Once I have more money than Larry Ellison, I’ll be satisfied.”

So, whether wealth and fame are alluring to you or not — if you’re fortunate enough to enjoy authentic relationships, low expectations, anonymity, and free time — take a minute to appreciate these things that are out of reach of the ordinary billionaire and celebrity.

If you enjoyed this, please check out some of my previous posts: Who are you?, What makes a fulfilling job?, and The Cameras are Coming.

I’m currently an investor at Sinai Ventures in San Francisco. I previously worked in digital TV strategy at 21st Century Fox in Los Angeles. Northwestern Alum. Chicago Native. Feel free to reach out here, on LinkedIn, or Twitter.